If you follow me on Instagram, you may have noticed I’m talking more about some of my personal projects. In particular, I’m talking more about my personal hobby of writing. I started writing poetry around age 15. I was so terrified someone would read my writings that a few short years later, I threw them all away. I can barely type that without wanting to punch my own face. What a silly thing to do! *sigh* I was young and naive.
So, here I am, well into my 30’s, and finally not caring what anyone thinks about my thoughts on paper. This journey started a few short months ago while I was struggling with some life events and sadness. I decided I wanted to go through some of my old journals and notes and revisit the past. I’ve toyed with the idea of organizing my writings on and off over the years but I never thought I’d want to share them out loud. I’m always writing short poems, thoughts, and pretty combinations of words in my phone notes or just in my mind. After reading through my journals, I wanted to start writing again and now here we are. I’m writing and sharing and it feels amazing to write and create in an organized way.
So far the project has been really fun. I spent several days sorting through my journals, scribbled words, and crumbled pieces of paper I’ve written on over the years. After reading my old work, I started writing new things. This hasn’t been just a self-based project. My crew at work has motivated me tremendously. With the help of my companies graphic designer, we’re bringing the images to life. It’s been very funny so far. Some days, I describe how I want the image to look in the vaguest of ways. Like hey, so do you think you can draw mysterious fire, not angry fire, or cartoon fire? ha! Boom! he creates it. I plan to finish a book of my writings titled “talking to ghosts” this year. I titled the book to reflect the meaning of the project. I’m revisiting the past, past events, past people, past thoughts, and past memories. I’m talking to ghosts through words.
In my mind, I keep picturing one of my most innocent and funny childhood memories. When I was about 4 or 5 years old my parents were doing some remodeling work in our home. My mom had placed a large wall mirror up against the wall of the living room. Somehow the mirror ended up flat on the floor. Olivia Newton-John “let’s get physical” was playing the background. I took all my clothes off except for my matching underwear and tank top and danced my heart out. I didn’t care who was watching or what I looked like. Now, here we are, I’m writing my heart out and I don’t care who’s watching.